On Believing.

"Now that I am a Christian I do have moods in which the whole thing looks improbable: but when I was an atheist I had moods in which Christianity looked terribly probable."

CS Lewis, Mere Christianity

I have a friend who is absolutely dead set on the belief that God may exist, but He doesnt hear us, want us, or interact with us. Therefore, Christianity, the church and everything that comes with that are false.

This personally grieves my heart. I have prayed for him, talked with him, and even simply agreed with him; that yes, there are major flaws in the Church, and how things are conducted. And I find myself discouraged, and asking questions like why isnt God revealing his mercy to this person....
And then i stop and collect my doubt. He already has; through me, through others, and love. One day, this person's heart is going to be softened, and the Lord whispers to me that my time and His time are opposite. The reminder simply confirms in my own belief that Christ loves each and every person, so much so that He will take them to their darkest lowest moment to reveal it.

So now, i sit and pray for my friend, that he will be taken lower than he's ever been, to the point where he's completely alone, mentally and physically, and that Jesus meets him there.

"When we wake up, we dont breathe in air, but we breathe in grace."
                                                                                   -Jordan Fitch.

To Be Lovingly Consistent.

   After seven straight days with my family, i realized that the older i get, the more is revealed to me; dirt and secrets that i didnt know existed until they stood right in front me. Family is funny, because despite the mistakes, quirks, and just plain stupid things people do, you still have to love them! And love them unconditionally and help them. My great grandparents are 90 and 91 years old, and have been married for over 76 years. They've seen it all; especially my great grandfather, who is still with and knows all the ins and outs of my family, and yet he focuses on the good in our family and the love we share. He inspires me to be lovingly consistent.
      Family is out of control sometimes, messy, gossipy, confusing; and yet the best part of my life. I wouldnt have it any other way.            

Im Blogging? What?

This is surreal. I never thought I would ever find myself blogging. When i picture bloggers i picture cool hipster kids that live in new york and blog in awesome coffee shops...or old philosophers who spew out their words of wisdom (or opinions) onto their computers. But i guess thats social profiling isnt it?

Actually, a good friend of mine who now attending Biola University in LA starting blogging, and i have to say, i was envious that she could virtually journal her emotions and thoughts. I wanted to do that! It seemed therapeutic and i was getting tired of victimizing facebookers as they were forced to read my emotions. But no more! This blog, hopefully, will help with that.
I doubt anyone will read this, but if someone does, there are some things you should know about me:

1. I am in utter reckless love with my Lord, Jesus Christ.
2. I used to love to write. I havent in many moons, so this should be interesting.
3. I am terrible at organizing my thoughts, so this blog will be cluttered.

well, heres to something, that may become exciting. I dont know whats going to happen with this blog, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

cheers:)