In the Shadow of the Shadowlands.

The last time I blogged was over a month ago. Much has changed, and yet so much has stayed the same. Maybe I havent blogged in the last month because ive been so busy, or maybe thats just been my excuse. I can tell you now it was definitely the excuse.
    Ever been so busy with absolutely nothing? Things that dont matter, that dont hold weight eternally and so youre left feeling empty and hollow, filled up with meaningless rubbish that wont increase my knowledge of Jesus or bring me closer to Him. Its a funny thing to be so busy; softball every day, leadership conventions, debate and speech, art projects, youth group, worship practice, breaking up with your boyfriend...when you know that none of these things will benefit you if Jesus is put on the back burner.
Confession: Jesus was on the waaaaay back burner this month. Therefore, life has sucked.

      Just yesterday, i broke. it actually started the night before when i went to sleep at a decent hour and yet i was awake all night and in all actuality only got ONE hour of sleep. i tossed and turned, uncomfortable, nauseous, my mind spinning at a hundred miles an hour. i knew Jesus had something to say to me but i couldnt shut up my mind long enough to actually hear His voice. i missed out on something really good, because ive been busy with nothing.
       So when my dad finally confronted me and asked what he could do to help, i lost it. I was spread too thin. i didnt know how to say no, i was prideful so i told him he couldnt do anything, and i just cried it out. Yes, i was physically tired, but my emotions have never felt so run down either. My realization, after living a month of absolutely no quiet times, Jesus hit this one on me:

LIVE LIKE I DIED FOR YOU.

Well, crap. Theres conviction for you. He called me out on my pride, laziness, and depression in 6 words. You know He's God when He can do that!

So now im buckling down. Im thankful for my family, who supports my endeavors and yet is courageous enough to call me out. Im thankful for mentors in my life, who listen and then give sound wisdom. And then theres Christ. He saved me and it is my call as a disciple to shake this weight of emptiness off and find fullness in Him.

Oh praise the one who paid my debt, and raised this life up from the dead!

Im Blogging? What?

This is surreal. I never thought I would ever find myself blogging. When i picture bloggers i picture cool hipster kids that live in new york and blog in awesome coffee shops...or old philosophers who spew out their words of wisdom (or opinions) onto their computers. But i guess thats social profiling isnt it?

Actually, a good friend of mine who now attending Biola University in LA starting blogging, and i have to say, i was envious that she could virtually journal her emotions and thoughts. I wanted to do that! It seemed therapeutic and i was getting tired of victimizing facebookers as they were forced to read my emotions. But no more! This blog, hopefully, will help with that.
I doubt anyone will read this, but if someone does, there are some things you should know about me:

1. I am in utter reckless love with my Lord, Jesus Christ.
2. I used to love to write. I havent in many moons, so this should be interesting.
3. I am terrible at organizing my thoughts, so this blog will be cluttered.

well, heres to something, that may become exciting. I dont know whats going to happen with this blog, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

cheers:)